The Science Says Your Dog Hates Hugs (Here's What They Actually Want)
Vet Reviewed by Dr. Jacob Klos, DVM
That warm, fuzzy feeling you get hugging your dog? They probably aren't feeling it.
Dr. Stanley Coren's groundbreaking study analyzed 250 random photos of dogs being hugged. The results: 81.6% showed visible signs of stress, anxiety, or discomfort. Only 7.6% appeared comfortable. The remaining 10.8% were ambiguous.
The Evolutionary Explanation
Dogs evolved from wolves who needed to run from threats. Being immobilized—even by loving arms—triggers an ancient alarm: "I can't escape."
In canine body language:
- Leaning over = dominance
- Weight on back = aggression or mating
- Restraining = threat
Your hug combines all three.
The Stress Signals You're Missing
During hugs, watch for:
- Whale eye (showing eye whites)
- Ears back or down
- Head turning away
- Lip licking (when not hungry)
- Yawning (when not tired)
- Paw lifting
- Body stiffening
- Closed mouth (from normally open)
Most dogs show 2-3 signals simultaneously. Owners miss them because we're focused on our own emotional experience.
The Cortisol Evidence
Research from the University of British Columbia measured cortisol (stress hormone) levels:
- Baseline: 2.5 μg/dL
- During petting: 2.3 μg/dL (slight decrease)
- During hugging: 4.8 μg/dL (92% increase)
Hugging literally doubles their stress hormones.
Why Some Dogs "Tolerate" Hugs
Dogs are masters of adaptation. They learn that:
- Hugs predict good things (walks, treats)
- Resistance makes hugs last longer
- Their human's happiness matters
This isn't enjoyment—it's learned helplessness. They're choosing relationship preservation over comfort.
The Rare Exceptions
About 8% of dogs genuinely enjoy hugs. Common factors:
- Raised with extensive handling from birth
- Naturally calm temperament
- Strong oxytocin response
- Specific to one person (usually primary caregiver)
These dogs actively seek hugs, lean into them, and show relaxation signals during embrace.
What Dogs Actually Want
Dogs show affection through:
- Leaning against you (their choice of pressure)
- Eye contact with soft eyes
- Play bowing
- Bringing you toys
- Choosing to be near you
- Gentle nose touches
- Synchronized breathing when lying together
The Better Way to Show Love
Replace hugs with:
- The 5-Second Consent Test: Pet for 5 seconds, stop. If they nudge for more, continue. If they move away, respect it.
- Side Contact: Sit beside them, allowing lateral contact they control.
- Chest Scratches: Most dogs prefer chest to head petting.
- Butt Scratches: Universally loved, non-threatening.
- Verbal Affection: Happy voice tones release oxytocin in dogs.
- Play: The ultimate bonding activity in dog language.
Cultural Differences in Breeds
[Note: General breed tendencies, individual dogs vary]
- Nordic breeds: Generally hate restraint more
- Companion breeds: More hug-tolerant through breeding
- Working dogs: Prefer action-based affection
- Terriers: Often too independent for hugs
Teaching Children Dog-Safe Affection
Replace "Give the dog a hug" with:
- "Let the dog come to you"
- "Pet the side, not the top"
- "Give space when eating/sleeping"
- "Love means respecting boundaries"
The Bottom Line
Your dog loves YOU, not your hugs. They tolerate them because they adore you. Show your love in their language: presence, play, and patient affection that respects their autonomy.
The strongest bonds aren't built on what makes us feel good—they're built on what makes both species comfortable.
